Picking back up from yesterday, I thought I had experienced enough of life to know that God had my back. After all, we had experienced so many twists and turns. I did not even mention the premature loss of my mother to cancer at Christmas. That was horrific for me because we were so very close. But through every twist and turn in the road, from the birth of four children to the loss of jobs and wondering where the next meal was coming from, I always new that God was right there. Because of that, I thought I was prepared for anything that life could offer.
I was wrong.
A few years back, the enemy attacked my family in a way that I never saw coming. He attacked my marriage. My husband and I had always been so close. He was my best friend. Someone I could always lean on, and more importantly, trust.
The Bible has a scripture that says we have a great enemy. A great adversary that is always prowling around seeking whom he may devour. He never takes a break. He never pauses. He never passes over an opportunity to strike. He never shows mercy, or decides that he has done enough to you. He is relentless and he is ruthless.
So when he attacked my marriage, it was like he went for the kill shot. It stabbed me right in my heart. I saw my life begin to crumble away from me in slow motion. I felt powerless to stop it. I watched the love of my life, turn an about face and begin to walk away from me and his kids. It was like his eyes were covered and he could not see what he was doing, or what was really going on.
Through it all, I tried to keep my chin up, and continued to go to church. Just my kids and me, of course. I leaned on my Pastor and his wife pretty heavy for moral support. I prayed. A lot. Because that is what you are supposed to do when your world falls apart, right?
Some days were good and I felt a little hope spring up in my heart. But most days were bad, and I was not even sure what hope felt like anymore. Many days I just felt like I was going through the motions. The truth was, and many could see it, I was dying inside. I was just waiting for my husband to walk through the door with divorce papers in his hands.
There were many times I stared at my ceiling and cried out to God saying, "What are you doing? I can't take much more of this!"
Then one day, my Pastor and his wife came to me and said that God wanted me to know that He was working on my behalf. They did not know exactly what that would mean for me, but He was working. Hang on just a little bit longer.
And there was that hope again.
It did not happen all at once, but things began to change. It was like the veil was slowly being peeled away from my husband's eyes. I'll never forget the day that he walked up to me and said, "I don't want you to make a big deal out of this, but tomorrow I would like to come to church with you again. And I may change my mind at the last minute. But currently that is my plan." I said nothing. Merely nodded. There were no words for me even if I would have tried to speak. I wanted it more than anything, but was at the same time fearful that the rug was about to be yanked out from underneath me.
Him crossing through those doors into the church, seemed to be the true turning point for him. No one looked at him with disdain or loathing. They smiled at him, and hugged him close. They treated him like nothing had every happened. We are a small church, so must definitely knew what had been going on. Plus it at had been well over a year since he had been there. Never the less, they all acted like they were so very pleased to see him. I remember this big man that goes to our church walking up to him and shaking his hand. His name is David. He stands around 6 1/2 feet tall. I remembered this big guy choking up when he latched onto my husband's hand. He could not even speak.
It was great.
All of that has been a while ago. The things that almost tore us apart, served only to make us stronger than ever before.fe
Fast forward d touch all my friends today.
Life still twists and turns. There are hills and valleys. Life can often be a rollercoaster. A thrill ride one moment, and a terror machine the next. Sometimes we are looking forward with great expectation, right at the edge of our seat. Sometimes we are just hanging on for dear life.
In all of those moments, whether they are moments that are making us smile, or moments that are making us cry, we need to look in the rearview mirror. We need to look back to see how God has always been there. We can not only learn from past mistakes so we can better prepare for our future, but we can see that God never fails. He is indeed always working on our behalf.
PRAYER:
Daddy God, I love you. I thank you for the journey. Today, I ask that you reach down an touch all my family and friends. I do not know what life is throwing their way, but I know you are working on there behalf. So I declare strength to fill them up. Lord, I know things can be hard and heavy. Where we wonder, am I going to make it. Help us to trust you and believe in the strength you have given us. Allow our eyes to be open and see that you are working in the most difficult times. Remind us of the past. Cause us to look in the rearview mirror so we can see how you have always had our backs. Lord, I just ask for you peace to rest on them. I declare your healing virtue just invade their bodies and your strength build their spirits. The Lord wants you to know He is walking beside you and He knows everything you are going through. Just keep going. The end is coming. Daddy God, bless, heal, and restore all reading this, for we love you and will walk the path you have set before us. We know you have our backs. We pray all this in Jesus precious name. Amen!!
Be blessed!
Trudy B.
